🦇
My mom just said she thinks men are going crazy nowadays bc they have less gay sex now than they did in ancient times lool. She said she has a feeling it used to just be something guys did n moved on n now it’s a big deal for no reason. And I’m listening along like girl tumblr would love you
doodlesaresketcheswithnoodles:
Shaak Ti
jobs for autism boy NO phone call NO schedule NO talking to people NO emails NO computer programming or sex work NO becoming a youtuber NO starting a band NO leaving my house NO one gets mad at me. $27 per hour please
wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”
he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.
after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”
anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”
half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.
and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.
Interview with the Demon (2023)
do u ever just sit down and realize how fucking great lord of the rings is like fuck we’re all still crying about sams speech and his po-ta-toes and i mean how amazing is the battle of the pelennor fields?11?!!? and the music you guys thE MUSIC and aragorns resting bitch face and legolas and gimlis kill count game “tHAT STILL ONLY COUNTS AS ONE” and “I AM NO MAN” and “ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK INTO MORDOR” and like the hobbit squad right hobbits are fucking cool man and i mean do you ever just do that do you sit down and think about lord of the rings
do you
every gym leader is like “I lost!?! UNBELIEVABLE!” buddy you live in a world where every ten year old child has always been offered a free fire breathing monster at least once and you brought nothing to this fight but anthropomorphic flowers
gym leaders’ whole job is to provide a specific challenge, a battle of a certain type and difficulty level. if you’ve brought the tools and skills to complete that challenge, you’re going to win by design. the pokémon in that battle are probably not actually the strongest pokemon they have.
when gym leaders go “argh, how could i lose??” they’re acting to give your victory legitimacy because you’re 10. they’re like a villain cosplayer letting a baby knock them over. they’re being nice!!
thinking about this again
so it’s NOT just aziraphale comforting crowley here. it’s both of them lamenting their complicitness in the suffering of humanity, it’s them realising just how pointless it all is both of them making this one poor man’s life miserable just to prove who’s side is best (like this whole both heaven and hell torturing one guy to test his faith is that whole thing adam said about the stupidity of armageddon in MICROCOSM), and suddenly coming to the conclusion that they are the only ones who can understand each other. they have no one else in the world, in the universe, who knows how they feel. it’s literally them reflecting on their respective positions in this great ineffable cosmic game of chess and realising they are not just playing opposite numbers, but are connected in such a deep and profound way such as that no one else would ever be able to comprehend.
and all of that is literally encapsulated in this one fucking screenshot. that’s why it’s eliciting so much inexplicable emotion in people. even without the context this shot is so provoking, but it really says it ALL once you understand what’s really going on here. even without any dialogue or movement. the vast beauty that surrounds them, the purposeful distance maintained but nonetheless still sitting together peacefully, the quiet moment of reflection upon their places in the universe, and their places in each other’s lives. the feeling that they really might be the only two people on earth who matter. what a beautiful place to build this season’s romance from. I haven’t even seen the scene yet and I’m already in awe
It is none of your damn business why a woman gets an abortion.
Flying cars are not viable due to human stupidity in operating heavy machinery, not because the technology is impossible
𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗈𝗎𝗌 𝗀𝖺𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗇 𝖼𝖺𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝖽𝗈𝗋𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗉 & 𝖿𝖺𝗋𝗆 𝗅𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀
When a “funny” dude likes you and anytime he sees you anywhere he will be like “yoooo wassup it’s Jelissa!” (Or whatever) like “omg Miranda is here whaaaat” for literally no reason why do they do that
They are more likely to do this the more meek and shy they perceive you too. They are less likely to do this if they think you’re loud and confident. Idk what it is it’s not even necessarily bad or annoying it’s just like why.
This is a VERY sweet take and I hope it’s sometimes true
Okay I thought this behavior was annoying before but now it’s actually quite endearing thank you extroverts who want introverts to feel included.
There was a stoner I liked very much when I was playing age of Conan some ten or more years ago. He would roll up into the vent, yell my name and rip a fat one on mic before vanishing again. Always made me feel special. It was like a dog that would greet you by barking as loud as possible and wagging his tail so hard it leaves a dent in the wall when your car rolls up. Everyone was luke warm to cold on him but he was my fucking buddy and I loved him because he made me feel wanted which I sure as shit wasn’t getting at home!!
Eventually I made the decision to start emulating behaviors that made me feel happy and started doing that in other places. To this day my whole discord chants the nickname of whomever joins the call, like a pack of seagulls who just locked eyes on a delicious spare French fry. There’s nothing quite as amazing as walking into a room and hearing a chorus of loved ones drawing out your name like they were going to sweep you off your feet if they could, slash like a pack of feral dogs ready to bowl you the fuck over.
I’ve reblogged this before but fuck does this last story really make it